Abandon
5 AM
Woke up around 5 this morning. She was getting ready to leave. A plane to Florida im told. I wonder what could have made her so unhappy.
5:30
She asked I walk her to the cab. I don’t know if I should be happy or sad. She was upset, maybe because the Kat would implode on a plane. Just me and you Bale, just me and you.
6-7:45
YouTube. You won’t leave me on a plane to Florida. Why would you need Disney? You just need people to post nonsense and It is fun to watch. ITunes was on next. Nothing like Nine Inch Nails to let you know your place in this world. Lonely, cold, and probably engineered by someone reminiscent of Tim Burton.
7:45-8:40
Mass Transit or commuting. You do realize the only other thing we commute is a sentence. Perhaps the alternative really is that bad, how would you feel if you had to walk to work?
8:40- sometime after 6
Work. Dan was there. We played Poker with Fred the Boss, Dan and John the Admin. Dan was really lucky, but I think he was cheating. What a scumbag! (points if you know where the exert is from)
6-7
Went to Canal, It’s like one giant 99 Cent store where everything is more than 99 Cents and each register is trying to get you to pay for the item on their line. They all sell the same thing. I guess it is nothing like a 99 cent store. Its fun to watch them argue over getting you to buy something. I wonder if people really believe that these items are real. Anyway, I got Aviators for 8 Bucks. Could have gotten him down to 7. Im too nice and had to pee.
7-10
Got home. Bale was excited till he realized it was just me. Do you know what it is to look a child in the eye and say your mother left. She doesn’t love us. She went to Florida, met a Walmart and may never come home again. If you ever see the castle in Disney, wave, she lives there now with a family she loves more than us. Well this was nothing like that. I went to pet him. Took a shower and fed him. He seemed happy till he realized he ate everything. Then he went to sleep. I wonder if cats can become narcoleptic and would we ever know.
I enjoyed watching the Roast of Bob Saget. Nothing like seeing a G-List celebrity get roasted to let you know regardless of what you accomplish in life, you will never get as close to Mary Kate and Ashley as Bob Saget did. And yes, Danny Tanner was gay.
She called. Maybe to say hi, I suspect she wondered if I was throwing my feces at Bale and trying to Slay the Beast that lives in the Sofa. I was not throwing feces; I refuse to sit on the couch. I wonder if she is trying to make Bale and me cry on the phone. We won’t give her the satisfaction. Not now, not ever. Bale doesn’t have tear ducts! (Stay strong! Stay away from the couch.)
Ninja Warrior. How many “Stages” are there? It’s like every time they finish the commentator tells them “sorry, your reward is in another castle” I wonder if Miyamoto stole their idea. I wonder if Morimoto stole his name. I wonder who would win a Battle Royal.
Day one seemed long. I lasted. For how much longer, I do not know. If you get this, please comment. Let me know I’m not crazy, Let me know there is something in my couch. I think its name is Steve, I thought I heard him say, “Itchy, Tasty.”
August 19th, 2008 at 9:41 am
If anything lives inside your couch, it is whatever little scraps of sanity you have left. Slay it and expect to go to a far away place where flinging poo is the least of your issues and Margo Kidder is your best friend. You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble packing. There will be a comfy white jacket with straps waiting for you when you get there.